The 8:05

I have often found myself wondering, as the morning train pulls in
where exactly I am going and where it is that I have been.

For some it's about the journey, and for some the destination.
But surely it all depends, on the arrival station.

Is this where I thought I'd be, when I hopped onboard this morning
or has my trip been diverted, unbeknownst and without warning?

Have I been in control, of this journey I have made?
Or am I just an actor, and it's been a part I've played?

Who is the fat controller, whom dictates where I go?
And why is that the trip, is always so painstakingly slow?

Should I take an express, or another faster train?
But what am I trying to skip, through pleasure or through pain?

Would my life be different, if it involved another station?
Or would it be no more then a subtle variation?

I guess I'll never know, instead I'll just ride the 8:05,
It's not the most glamorous trip, but imagine if I had to drive!

Written in the summer of 2006, while an intern on the way to my first real job.

the man without a plan

sheepishly he admits that there is no plan that has been laid
life has been the product of both good and bad decisions made
some dreams have been realised while others still remain
time sees a few grow stronger and lets the others wane

but can one's choices be decided in such an ad hoc fashion
can a life's direction be governed by only passion
shouldn't you have goals, each one carefully selected
or will you forever be haunted by the options you rejected

should you aim lower then you are able and achieve as you desire
can you live in potential's shadow and only dream of hitting higher
or should you set your sights up high, well above your weight class
and each time you jump you miss and land back down upon your ass

it really all depends on your definition of success
is it that the needs are satisfied, or by the level of excess
does the checking of all the boxes signify a life finally fulfilled
does the cup need to flow to the point of being spilled

or is it that you lived your life, and not just played a part
that you controlled the journey, it was not mapped out from the start....

Written Nov 2008, the alternative approach to the previous...

The Man with the Plan

Cautiously, he moves through life with plans but not a vision,
Vigilantly, he considers the consequence of each and every decision.
No action is to be taken until the facts have been collated,
The data never lies and as such each fear is in turn abated.

He is happy with his path because it “made the most sense”,
He ticked all the right boxes and watched others from the fence.
The epitome of rationality, caution and hesitation,
He fails to feel the extremes of depression and elation.

But in the quiet moments when he sits and reflects,
Does he see in his love of logic the very obvious defects?
Sure he has achieved everything, and exactly as he planned,
But life has run through his fingers as if it were grains of sand.

The future’s caught the present and it’s too late to enjoy what’s been amassed
There’s not a lot of time left, and there’s no comfort in the past.
Sure the wife, house and car, leave the Jones’s a little green
But there’s a hole in the perfect picture where the life should have been.

Written August 2008, trying to decide on how a life's direction should be determined.